Why your beliefs are like a Jenga tower
Hi! I’m Katie, and I’m a cultural and social psychologist—but you can think of me as your BFF with a PhD. I live in the desert of Texas alongside the cacti, roadrunners, and horned lizards. If you’re looking to understand your inner landscape and the whirlwind of the world around you, I hope you find something of value here. Make sure to subscribe—and you won’t miss a beat! Thank you so much for being here.
Beliefs are subjective attitudes that one can hold about any person, place, thing, or idea.1
Merriam Webster defines a belief as “a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing” and “something that is accepted or held as an opinion”.2
There is a misconception in our culture that beliefs are synonymous with religion or spiritual views.
To believe that the important beliefs in our lives are isolated to our religious views is a limiting view.
Yet, this is a widely-held view of the definition of beliefs.
Even just yesterday, I was searching “beliefs” on social media, and most of the search results included posts about religion.
WE ARE NOT COMPARTMENTALIZED BEINGS
It’s important to be aware of all of the beliefs that we hold in our lives, because there is a wide range of beliefs that are affecting how we show up to our lives.
And, it’s important to be aware of the beliefs we hold in our lives, because of the interconnected nature of our beliefs.
We are not compartmentalized beings.
This is especially true for women.
If something is happening in one area of your life, it's affecting other areas of your life.
As women, our beliefs infiltrate all aspects of our lives and potentially all other belief areas.
This awareness helps us recognize how the beliefs we hold are affecting the various areas of our lives.
It's important that we reflect on all of our deeply-held beliefs so that we can be the most healthy and whole version of ourselves.
WHAT ARE BELIEFS, ANYWAY
You may be reflecting on your attitudes or beliefs about many areas of your life: religious, social, cultural, political, individual, and economical.
Beliefs you hold in your life may include (but certainly are not limited to):
religion + spirituality
beliefs about yourself + your worth
work + career
family patterns
partnership + relationships
gender and social roles
sex + intimacy
YOUR BELIEFS AS A JENGA TOWER
I like to think of the visual of a Jenga tower.
Imagine you have a Jenga tower, but imagine that each of those Jenga blocks has some kind of belief written on it.
You might have religion.
You have marriage or partnership.
You have what it means to be a woman.
You have your beliefs about your own self-worth.
You have boundaries.
You have work and career.
The list could go on, but you have all of these blocks stacked on one another.
You start to pull one of those blocks out, because maybe a religious belief is no longer working for you or you experience something in a relationship and it shifts your worldview.
Now, you have an entirely different tower.
But, if you’ve ever played the game, you know that the next task is to take that block and put it back on the tower in a new place.
But, now it's kind of a little bit wobbly over here and tilting over there.
Now, you have to shift a different tile–very carefully–and place it on the top of the tower in hopes that it's a little more stable now.
Take this example.
You are reflecting on a religious belief that maybe isn't working for you anymore, and you're looking to rewrite that belief.
Examining and rewriting that belief–changing it, for lack of better words–is going to trigger a ripple effect on other beliefs that you hold.
It may affect how you view yourself or how you view the world around you.
It may affect how you view your connections to others.
Or take another example.
If you have a poor belief about yourself, that belief about your own worth may affect how you view the others in your life, as well.
To believe that our beliefs can stay compartmentalized and not affect one another is a limiting view of the process of belief formation and belief change.
We're very integrated beings.
One way in which we view the world over here is absolutely affecting how we're viewing other aspects of our lives.
Your beliefs in one area absolutely affect other areas of your life.
It's important to reflect on all of them so that we can be the most healthy and whole version of ourselves.
BELIEFS ARE MOTIVATORS
Beliefs are motivators.
Beliefs can drive and direct our behaviors.
It’s important that we are clear and confident about our beliefs so that we are able to make decisions that reflect our own values and beliefs.
When we know our beliefs, we feel much more confident in the decisions that we make.
If we don’t know what we believe, we also don’t know what passions to pursue in our lives.
WIthout pursuing our values and passions, we may not be able to find fulfillment in our lives, and we may experience what developmental psychologists call stagnation.
It’s important to feel generative in our lives and feel a sense of purpose.
When we find grounding in our beliefs, it gives us the opportunity to pursue the things that matter most to us.
This allows us to develop self-trust and self-confidence so we can navigate the world in an intrinsic and life-giving way.
Knowing our beliefs makes us more self-aware and can lead us to be more present to our everyday lives.
It makes us more available to the world around us.
Self-awareness always opens us up to awareness in the greater context of our lives.
Finding confidence and clarity in our beliefs paves the way for us to create lives that are meaningful and satisfying.
When we can follow our values—because we know what we want—we can build lives that are fulfilling and feel aligned.
Our beliefs are also a direct precursor to our identity.
The two are not the same, but knowing our beliefs sets the stage for healthy identity development.
KNOWING WHAT YOU BELIEVE MATTERS
Here are 10 reasons why we should become more aware of our beliefs and how they affect one another:
Finding clarity and confidence in your beliefs can help you stand up for yourself and pursue your values.
Finding clarity and confidence in your beliefs can help you make decisions and choices that you feel good about.
Finding clarity and confidence in your beliefs can help you better understand yourself and what you want out of your life.
Finding clarity and confidence in your beliefs helps you have a stronger sense of identity.
Finding clarity and confidence in your beliefs can help you strengthen healthy and solid relationships.
Finding clarity and confidence in your beliefs helps you to be more present to the world so that you can show up to your “one wild + precious life” as Mary Oliver might say.
Finding clarity and confidence in your beliefs helps you stay open to exploring different perspectives, learning new things, and growing.
Finding clarity and confidence in your beliefs helps you stay true to yourself and your values.
Finding clarity and confidence in your beliefs helps you stay motivated, inspired, and energized.
Finding clarity in your beliefs helps you communicate and articulate yourself effectively to others.
Make sure to read the one where I talk about why everyone is questioning everything in 2024.
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Primmer, Justin (2018), "Belief", in Primmer, Justin (ed.), The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Stanford, CA: The Metaphysics Research Lab, archived from the original on 15 November 2019, retrieved 19 September 2008
“Belief.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/belief. Accessed 17 Feb. 2023.
Cover art by Alena Ganzhela used under license